COLD OPEN – ERIC’S APARTMENT – AFTERNOON
Riley and Maya are “studying”; Zay scrolls beats; Lucas and Farkle measure the living room with a tape.
Riley: Why are you measuring my uncle’s apartment like you’re about to sell it?
Farkle: We are choosing a world record to break. Any record. Preferably one that says “most profound” but I’ll settle for “most marshmallows balanced on a bicep.”
Lucas: Or “fastest time to put on twenty T-shirts.” I am, famously, a torso.
Eric: Good! But also: my lease says “no indoor stampedes, fires, or citrus juggling.”
Zay: I have beats. Maya has a throat. We’re gonna make a record record.
Maya: And we won’t burn anything down. Probably.
Riley: And I’m researching the Matthews family crest with Uncle Eric for my folklore class. Spoiler: the motto is “We nap, we snack.”
Eric: Close. “We snack, then nap.” (winks)
Smash to sting.
ACT ONE
SCENE A – STUDENT CENTER – DAY
A folded flyer reads: “WORLD RECORD CLUB (TEMPORARY, PROBABLY) – Farkle & Lucas.” Props: sticky notes, spoons, hula hoops, a terrifying number of T-shirts.
Lucas: Okay: “most sticky notes on a face.” The current mark is 58. We can do 60 easy.
Farkle: The human epidermis was not built for this, but my soul was.
They slap notes on; a crowd gathers; Dean Rachel materializes like a well-dressed conscience.
Rachel: What… are we doing?
Farkle: Science-adjacent history-making.
Rachel: In the student union?
Lucas (muffled by notes): Mmmhm.
Rachel: No adhesives on faces in the union. Also no crowding stairwells, no impromptu shirt avalanches, and no attempting “longest cheer” during finals week.
Farkle: There are so many specific rules for things we have not yet done.
Rachel: Because I know you. Club disbanded until you bring me a record that won’t injure, annoy, or set off the fire alarm.
Lucas: We hear you. We will pivot.
Farkle (to Lucas): I don’t know how to pivot without running.
SCENE B – CAMPUS STUDIO – AFTERNOON
A tiny recording booth; a student engineer, Tali, slides faders. Zay’s got a beat; Maya’s got a mic.
Tali: We’ll get a scratch take. Keep it honest; we can pretty later.
Zay: Track title: “Alone Together.” (grins at Maya) It’s our brand.
Maya (into mic): I don’t wanna make it perfect / I wanna make it true—
Zay (8 bars in, jumping): —so I run that second verse like the train’s overdue—
They vibe… then clash: Zay pushes tempo; Maya wants space; they talk over the bridge.
Maya: This is supposed to breathe.
Zay: Breath is good. But so is pulse.
Tali: You both are right. Verse breathes. Hook hits. Trade fours on the back half like you’re finishing each other’s sentences.
They try again. Better. Not done. Good bones.
SCENE C – UNIVERSITY ARCHIVES – LATE AFTERNOON
Riley and Eric meet Ms. Callahan (archivist, thrilled by boxes). She plops a dusty binder on the table.
Callahan: Matthews Family Papers. Scrapbooks, letters, and one questionable watercolor of a duck that might be your crest.
Eric: Good! No further questions.
They leaf through: a 1919 store ad from Matthews Hardware, a camp pennant, a hand-stitched shield (acorn, book, two stars), and a faded ribbon reading “We Learn, We Lift.”
Riley (soft): That actually… sounds like us.
Eric: We Learn, We Lift, We Lunch. Kidding. Mostly.
Callahan: Crest mottoes shift. Families keep the part that feels true. What’s yours now?
Riley thinks. We table it—for now.
ACT TWO
SCENE D – QUAD – DAY (A-PLOT PIVOT)
Farkle and Lucas return with a whiteboard labeled “NON-DUMB RECORD IDEAS.”
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Most books donated in one hour?
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Longest high-five chain for charity?
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Most pantry items sorted safely?
Lucas: “Records that matter” column hits different.
Farkle: I’m hearing Dean in my head. This is disturbing… and helpful.
Riley wanders by with a photo of the crest.
Riley: Family homework break: kindness is a legacy. What if your club tries for most emergency pantry kits packed in 60 minutes?
Farkle: World-changing adjacent.
Lucas: And legal.
Riley: I’ll bring the Window Collective. We’ll call it Record Window.
Farkle (heroic): We shall crush… compassionately.
SCENE E – CAMPUS STUDIO – EVENING
Take three. Maya nails a verse, Zay gets crowded by his own cleverness.
Maya (pulling off headphones): You don’t have to prove you’re good. You just have to be you.
Zay: That’s the scariest assignment.
Tali: Here. (kills the click) No grid, just groove. Talk to each other.
They go live, bare. Maya sings like windows; Zay answers like streets; they land the hook together, not perfect, painfully right.
Tali: Print that. Then we’ll clean the pops. You two just made a thing I believe.
Maya and Zay share a look: record made, not just recorded.
SCENE F – ARCHIVES → ERIC’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Riley and Eric sketch the crest on butcher paper.
Eric: Acorn (growth), book (we’re nerds), two stars (Cory + Eric, obviously).
Riley: Or… two stars for choice and chance. You choose your work; chance throws bananas. We lift anyway.
Eric: Put a tiny penguin on the bottom for the Pennbrook era.
Riley: That’s not how crowns work.
Eric: It is in my heart.
Riley: Motto: “We Learn, We Lift.” Add “We Show Up.” That’s our generation’s edit.
Eric (softening): That’s a good edit. People change people. So do mottoes.
They snap a pic for her paper. Eric tucks the old ribbon into a frame.
ACT THREE
SCENE G – GYM – SATURDAY MORNING
A banner: RECORD WINDOW – 60 MINUTES / 600 KITS. Tables with assembly lines: rice, beans, pasta, toiletries. Dean Rachel arrives, skeptical and trying not to smile.
Rachel: Where are your adhesives and T-shirts?
Farkle: Replaced by beans and logistics.
Lucas: We risk only paper cuts and improved community relations.
Rachel: Approved. If you hit 600, I will personally write the press blurb.
Riley counts down. The room hums. Students, neighbors, one adorable toddler with a sticker gun. Someone stacks boxes like a Tetris savant; Eric shouts timing like a game show; Zay & Maya’s brand-new track (rough mix!) plays over the PA.
Maya (singing, over speakers): We’re alone together, we’re apart and we’re home…
Zay (rapping): Turn the key on a Tuesday, make a record of the tone…
The clock hits 60: 612 KITS. The gym erupts.
Rachel (actually proud): That’s a record I can put on letterhead.
Farkle (to Lucas, breathless): My soul did a thing and my face didn’t even need stickers.
SCENE H – ERIC’S APARTMENT – THAT NIGHT
A cozy after-party: boxes stacked, pizza open, the track playing quietly from a phone.
Riley: “We Learn, We Lift, We Show Up.” It fits on the crest and on today.
Eric: We will not tattoo it. Yet.
Maya: Tali sent the mix. It’s not done-done, but… want to hear?
She taps play. The room goes gentle. Zay’s verse lands; Maya’s last line hangs and glows.
Cory (on phone, teary, of course): That’s my favorite kind of record.
Rachel (at the door with a soft knock): Same. Also, my official statement says: “Students set a record for care.”
Farkle (mock offended): We had a spreadsheet.
Rachel: I saw it. Color-coded mercy. Good work.
They all grin.
TAG – CAMPUS GREEN – SUNDAY
A tiny easel holds Riley’s redraw of the Matthews crest: acorn, book, two stars; ribbon with WE LEARN • WE LIFT • WE SHOW UP. Dean Buffalo (in a corner doodle) winks in defiance of heraldry.
Riley (to Maya): Think my folklore prof will accept “penguin as situational heraldic supporter”?
Maya: If she doesn’t, I will fight her. Respectfully. With a bibliography.
Across the quad, Farkle & Lucas hang a photo of the 612 kits on the Window board titled RECORD WINDOW #1.
Zay (to Maya): Next record?
Maya: Highest number of people who heard our song and felt less alone.
Zay: Unmeasurable.
Maya: Exactly.
They walk toward Eric’s building for leftover pizza, humming their hook. Small record, big record, the good kind.
END.
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