COLD OPEN – PENNBROOK QUAD, LATE AFTERNOON
Riley and Farkle hustle across campus in a confetti of flyers.
Riley: Spirit Bash is in the gym, then free cocoa.
Farkle: “Free” and “cocoa” are my love languages.
They follow a crowd into… the wrong field house. Banners unfurl: WELCOME FIGHTING AMISH! A drumline hits. Mascot: a smiling wooden-horsie logo on a teal banner.
Riley: I love our new—wait, do we have teal?
Farkle: The Penguins are navy and silver. Teal is… not.
A kind girl beside them, SADIE (18, friendly), hands them mini cowbells.
Sadie: First time at the Bash? Ring when they say “work hard, be kind.”
Riley/Farkle: (weak smile) Totally.
Chant erupts: “WORK HARD—BE KIND!” Cowbells everywhere. Riley and Farkle ring—then clock the giant mural: East Lancaster Tech – Fighting Amish. They freeze.
Riley (whisper): We’re at the rival’s pep rally.
Farkle (whisper): Blend. Observe. Exit.
Sadie: I’m Sadie. What are your majors?
Riley: Um… kindness?
Farkle: …Working hard?
Smash to sting.
ACT ONE
SCENE A – RIVAL FIELD HOUSE
A student host explains the food drive totals; everyone cheers. Sadie asks Riley a question about the astronomy elective. Riley lights up.
Riley: You like astronomy?
Sadie: Love it. I’m writing my essay on the moon landing broadcast and community. Corny, right?
Riley: Corny is my religion. I mean… (gestures to banners) respectfully themed.
Farkle clocks a sign-up: STEM Mentors—the same program Pennbrook runs. He and Sadie geek about sensors; they forget they’re in enemy territory until the host shouts:
Host: Beat the Penguins!
Everyone boo-cheers; Sadie whoops; Riley and Farkle clap… politely.
Riley (tiny): We have to go.
Sadie: You just got here. There’s cocoa. And a craft table where you can make friendship pins.
Riley gives Farkle a we like friendship pins face.
Farkle: One pin—then we mysteriously evaporate.
They pin. They smile. They’re toast.
SCENE B – FRESHMAN ENGLISH, DAY
Zay and Lucas sit in an intro seminar circle with a TA, MARCO (earnest). The syllabus thuds.
Marco: We’ll practice close reading. Start with the text, build outward. No panic; this class is for joy.
Cut to: Zay and Lucas later in the library surrounded by six colors of tabs.
Zay: I highlighted the acknowledgments.
Lucas: I analyzed the table of contents for foreshadowing.
Zay: Should we annotate our annotations?
Lucas: Only if we want A-pluses in Overdoing It.
They high-five and keep spiraling.
SCENE C – ART STUDIO, AFTERNOON
Maya sets up an easel. Rachel breezes in with a garment bag and a tiara.
Rachel: I’m your subject. I brought… options.
Maya: Sit in a chair like a normal dean.
Rachel: Or I’m a queen of logistics.
She dons the tiara. Maya groans, laughs, sketches anyway.
Rachel: Capture my essence.
Maya: Your essence is “kind hardass in flats.” Not… prom.
Rachel: Flats can be royal.
SCENE D – ERIC’S APARTMENT, EVENING
Zay and Lucas collapse on Eric’s couch with printed marginalia. Eric wears a sash: FORMER SENATOR / CURRENT SOFA.
Eric: Good! You studied literature until it begged for mercy.
Zay: We took “close reading” too close.
Lucas: I annotated the pizza menu.
Eric: You’ve joined the cult of Interpretation Without Naps. As your sofa, I prescribe: grilled cheeses, no thesis statements for two hours, and an alarm for tomorrow’s class.
Zay/Lucas: Yes, Sofa Dad.
Eric: Also, power ballad hums at 4:13. It heals.
They melt into cushions like chastened golden retrievers.
ACT TWO
SCENE E – RIVAL FIELD HOUSE → QUAD
Riley and Farkle help stack canned goods—muscle memory from Window Collective. Sadie tells a story about her grandma watching the first televised game.
Sadie: My school feels big. Today felt… us.
Riley: Ours does this too. The food drives, the yelling with manners.
Sadie: You’re—wait. You said “ours.” What school?
Riley and Farkle wince. Confess.
Farkle: We thought this was our Spirit Bash. It was… not.
Sadie blinks… then laughs.
Sadie: Oh my gosh—Penguins in the wild. It’s fine. Your coats gave you away.
Riley: We brought kindness! And a half-finished friendship pin.
Sadie: Keep ringing the bell. It’s for the pantry, not the mascot.
They all ring—work hard, be kind—and slip out.
On the quad, Farkle and Riley breathe.
Farkle: We made a friend on the other team.
Riley: Is that allowed?
Farkle: Pennbrook statute 12: “People change people.”
Riley: Also, cocoa changes mood.
They head to the Penguin rally—late, glittery, oddly proud.
SCENE F – ART STUDIO, LATER
Rachel re-enters in a flowy dress with a dramatic cape. Maya squints.
Maya: You are trolling me.
Rachel: I’m making it interesting.
Maya: The assignment is portrait, not costume design for a very fancy ghost.
Rachel: A subject is allowed to play.
Maya: The painter is allowed to ban hats.
They negotiate; Rachel swaps the cape for her Dean blazer—but keeps the tiara on top. Maya can’t help it—she laughs while painting.
Maya: Fine. Queen of Paperwork.
Rachel: Empress of forms.
They grin.
SCENE G – FRESHMAN ENGLISH, NEXT MORNING
Zay and Lucas present their passage analysis with eight handouts and a laser pointer.
Marco: This is… thorough.
Zay: We traced motifs, archetypes, and a theme we invented about soup.
Marco: And what did the paragraph make you feel?
Zay and Lucas… stall.
Lucas: We forgot feelings.
Marco: Start there. Then build out. You don’t earn an A by drowning the poem.
Zay: We waterboarded it.
Marco: Great verb. Now set the binder down and tell me a sentence in your voice.
They do. It’s good. Marco nods, proud. They exhale. Homework for them: read less, mean it more.
SCENE H – PENNBROOK QUAD, AFTERNOON
Riley & Farkle set up a Window Collective table: “Pantry Drive: Rival Week—Everybody Eats.” A stack of teal and navy wristbands reads WORK HARD / BE KIND on one side, PEOPLE > PENGUINS on the other.
Sadie approaches, half-wary, half-curious.
Sadie: I brought the cans you guiltily made me want to donate.
Riley: We’re allies in the pantry.
Farkle: Enemies in volleyball, respectfully.
They trade school pins. Sadie drops cans in the bin.
Sadie: When we play you Saturday, I’m yelling at your mascot.
Riley: Please do. He needs the attention.
Farkle: Also, your teal is objectively excellent. It hurts to admit.
Sadie: Your penguin is objectively adorable. It hurts to admit.
They grin. Truce.
ACT THREE
SCENE I – ART STUDIO, EVENING
The painting is done: Rachel in her Dean blazer, sneakers, lanyard, and—yes—a slightly askew tiara. The background is a warm wash like a window at golden hour. She looks like someone who says yes to students and no to nonsense.
Rachel: You didn’t paint the dress.
Maya: I painted the person.
Rachel: (soft) I was making it hard on purpose. Your eye landed anyway.
Maya: You’re bossy.
Rachel: I’m… your biggest fan.
They share a quick hug.
SCENE J – ERIC’S APARTMENT, NIGHT
Eric’s coffee table has become a tiny command center: two bowls of popcorn, a stack of Window Collective wristbands, Zay and Lucas’s now-reasonable notebooks.
Riley and Farkle burst in, flushed.
Riley: We accidentally infiltrated the Fighting Amish and made a friend.
Eric: Good! (beat) As long as you still boo respectfully on game day.
Farkle: We will boo with tact.
Zay: We will analyze less and clap more.
Lucas: We will nap occasionally.
Eric: Look at my children—emotionally hydrated. On three, deep breath.
They breathe. The room un-knots.
Riley: Saturday after the game—joint pantry sort with Sadie’s school?
Farkle: We already synced calendars. Rivalry in the morning, community in the afternoon.
Zay: That’s… actually perfect.
Lucas: Like a truck-driver key change back into the home key.
Eric: (tears up) They grow up so fast.
They all throw popcorn at him.
TAG – PEP RALLY, GAME DAY
Split-screen vibe on the same field: Penguins on one side, Fighting Amish on the other. Riley and Farkle lock eyes with Sadie across the divide; they point at the pantry bin behind each cheer squad.
Announcer: And don’t forget—bring your cans to either table. We all win that part.
Sadie cups her hands: “WORK HARD—”
Riley cups hers back: “BE KIND!”
They yell it at the same time, then join their teams’ noise. The band swells. Somewhere, Dean Buffalo wears a tiny half-navy/half-teal scarf. Probably.
END.
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