COLD OPEN – DORM 3B – LATE AFTERNOON
Lucas’s duffel sits open. Dean Buffalo wears a tiny red bandana.
Maya: So you’re abandoning me for cows.
Lucas: For pre-vet. The cows are a perk.
Riley: (to Dean Buffalo) You’ll watch over us, right? Moo once for yes.
Maya: He’s a buffalo.
Lucas: He speaks all barnyard languages.
They laugh, but the goodbye hovers.
Maya: (too bright) Ring power?
Riley & Maya: Ring power.
Lucas: Boomerang plan: call when I land, call after orientation, call whenever you breathe.
Maya: That’s a lot of breathing. Go before I staple you here.
They hug. He heads out; at the door he turns—two-finger salute. Gone.
Sting.
ACT ONE
SCENE A – PENNBROOK BUS DEPOT – DUSK
Riley, Maya, Farkle, Zay see Lucas onto the coach bus.
Zay: Remember: if Texas asks, you invented brisket.
Lucas: That’s a fight I won’t win.
A final hug with Maya—quick, tight.
Maya: Go be a doctor of goats.
Lucas: That’s… not wrong.
Bus pulls away. Riley squeezes Maya’s hand. Maya shakes it off with a smile.
Maya: Okay! Feelings inventory complete. What’s next?
Farkle: Next is… date night. (to Riley) Observatory tickets—meteor shower, ethically sourced popcorn. We leave at eight?
Riley: We leave at eight.
Maya: (light) Cool. I’ll, uh, reorganize my sock drawer by mood.
Riley: You can totally come—
Maya: Nope. Couples do couple. I’m a strong, independent gremlin.
They split. Maya watches them walk away together, then opens her phone to an empty evening.
SCENE B – LOUNGE – EVENING
Zay unfurls a banner: “CELINE DION SOCIETY (UNOFFICIAL BUT UNAFRAID)” A laptop shows a playlist.
Zay: (to Farkle) Okay, co-founder—
Farkle: I’m not a co-founder.
Zay: Scientist emeritus?
Farkle: Also no.
Zay: Farkle, her vocals are an olympic sport. Join me on the right side of history.
Farkle: I respect the technique. I reject the fan club.
Zay: Then at least let me prove it: resonance! breath control! truck-driver key changes!
Farkle: “Truck-driver key change” isn’t real.
Zay: It is, and it slaps. Seven-thirty. Lounge. Bring tissues. I invited three people and a bassoon.
Farkle: Absolutely not.
(He will absolutely be there.)
SCENE C – OFF-CAMPUS CAFÉ – SAME TIME
Rachel sits, lovely and a little nervous. She checks her watch. Across the room Eric—in a blazer and “Former Senator / Current Catch” pin—does the same. Twin abandoned wineglasses.
Rachel: (to server) He’s probably parking.
Eric: (to his server) She’s probably saving a puppy. Or twelve.
Beat. Both servers return: “So… they canceled.”
Rachel/Eric: Ah.
They spot each other. Relief.
Rachel: You too?
Eric: Good! I mean—good we’re both available. Not good we’re disasters.
Rachel: Sit. We’ll be each other’s un-date.
Eric: And order the artisanal fries of resilience.
They clink waters.
SCENE D – DORM HALL / 3B – NIGHT
Maya stands outside her door, listening to the muffled bustle of other plans. Skyler (RA) appears with a clipboard.
Skyler: You look like someone deciding between ice cream and becoming a mysterious poet.
Maya: Joke’s on you, I can be both.
Skyler: We’ve got a low-key painting night in the lounge. No pressure, no critique, all mess. Or I can invent a maintenance emergency and clear the building for drama.
Maya: Tempting. I’m fine. Go be an RA.
Skyler: I’ll be around. (gentle) Alone doesn’t have to mean… unloved.
Skyler heads off. Maya exhales, opens the door to her empty half of the evening.
SCENE E – CAMPUS OBSERVATORY – NIGHT
String lights, a telescope, a projector of constellations. Riley and Farkle share popcorn.
Farkle: Star fact: you’re statistically guaranteed to see twelve shooting stars if your boyfriend does not check his phone.
Riley: My boyfriend set his phone to Do Not Disturb thirty minutes ago.
They lean in—soft, sweet. Riley pulls back—guilty flash.
Riley: Is Maya okay?
Farkle: Maya is a wildfire in human form. She’s okay.
Riley: I know. It’s just… I don’t want her to feel like the part of me that’s “us”—(touches ring)—is taking the part of me that’s “her.”
Farkle: (warm) Then we make space on purpose. We can do both. We’ve done both since fifth grade.
Riley: You and your reasonable brain.
Farkle: It’s big and annoying. You love it.
She does.
ACT TWO
SCENE F – LOUNGE – 7:30PM
Two people and a bassoon have indeed arrived. Zay in host mode.
Zay: Welcome to the Celine Dion Society, where we do not apologize for feelings or modulation. Tonight’s topic: power belts. Guest skeptic: Farkle Minkus.
Farkle: I’m observing, not guesting.
Zay: First track: “heartfelt nautical ballad we won’t quote so legal doesn’t faint.” Listen for breath placement.
They play a clip (we don’t hear lyrics). Farkle’s eyebrow betrays respect.
Farkle: Okay… the appoggio is not not impressive.
Zay: SAY IT LOUDER.
Farkle: It’s… impressive.
The tiny crowd applauds.
SCENE G – CAFÉ
Rachel and Eric split fries.
Eric: When you get stood up at twenty, it’s drama. At forty-something, it’s logistics.
Rachel: I dressed up for the first time in a month that wasn’t orientation. I even wore the “I’m not thinking about work” earrings. (beat) I miss… the silly part of me.
Eric: She’s still here. She ordered fries. She invited her weirdest friend to sit. (soft) And she made Pennbrook feel like home for my niece.
Rachel: (smiles) You were always the silly part. And the heart.
Eric: People change people.
Rachel: They do.
Their phones ping with identical “sorry something came up” texts. They roll their eyes in tandem, then laugh.
Eric: Dessert?
Rachel: Obviously.
SCENE H – DORM 3B / HALL – SAME TIME
Maya starts a movie alone, stops it, scrolls, tosses the phone aside. Knock at the door: Cassie from Panhellenic peeks in with two extra canvases.
Cassie: Skyler said you “respectfully declined paint night but were vibing.” I brought supplies to… vibe adjacent?
Maya: (smiles) Come in. I’m painting a very realistic cow to threaten my boyfriend.
Cassie: I’ll do a buffalo in solidarity.
They spread newspaper on the floor and paint. Silence becomes comfortable.
Cassie: I used to think “alone” meant I was doing college wrong. Now I schedule my alone. It… helps.
Maya: Yeah. It’s like… I know who I am with them. I’m practicing who I am when it’s just me.
Cassie: That’s the whole degree.
They paint. It’s good.
SCENE I – OBSERVATORY PATH – LATER
Riley and Farkle walk back, hands laced.
Riley: Date night was perfect.
Farkle: Addendum: we drop ice cream at 3B and invite Maya to a late-night window talk. Standing appointment: Thursdays are ours, Fridays are her-us.
Riley: Her-us! You’re a genius.
Farkle: I’m plagiarizing healthy boundaries dot org.
They laugh, turn the corner—
Riley: (soft) I’m texting her: “Window, ten?”
Farkle: And I’m texting Zay: “Truck-driver key change is real.”
SCENE J – LOUNGE
The clip crescendos (offscreen). Farkle… joins in—on vowels, head voice flipping to chest like a secret theater kid. The bassoon harmonizes proudly. Zay points like “See?!”
Zay: Ladies, gentlemen, and scientists—our newest member, Associate Farkle of Dion.
Farkle: Temporary membership for research purposes.
Zay: That’s what they all say.
They share a brotherly side-hug.
SCENE K – CAFÉ SIDEWALK
Eric and Rachel leave with to-go cakes.
Eric: Next time, we just schedule the un-date first. Avoid the part where people are disappointing.
Rachel: Deal. (beat) Want to crash a student paint night and give terrible advice?
Eric: Good!
They head off, happy.
SCENE L – DORM 3B – NIGHT
Maya’s cow and Cassie’s buffalo dry on the desk. Riley slips in with a pint and three spoons; Farkle follows.
Riley: Window at ten?
Maya: You read my mind.
They sit at the window—knees touching like old times. Farkle leans against the wall, content to be the third point in a triangle that works.
Phone buzz. Lucas on video from a Texas dorm: a poster of veterinary anatomy behind him.
Lucas: I found the goats. They’re judging me.
Maya: Get in line.
Riley: We miss you.
Lucas: Miss you, too. Show me the window.
Riley flips the camera to their silly little view. Lucas grins.
Lucas: That’s the light.
Farkle: (to phone) We implemented a calendar solution. Thursdays: R&F. Fridays: R&M. Saturdays: Zay’s cult.
Zay (off, leaning in the doorway with a flyer): Society. See you all Sunday for power ballad yoga.
Laughter. They talk over each other like a happy chord.
Riley: Alone together.
Maya: Together alone.
Farkle: And occasionally together together.
Riley: Ring power.
Maya: Forever.
They tap rings against the phone screen so Lucas can tap back.
TAG – LOUNGE – SUNDAY
The Celine Dion Society hosts “Power Ballad Yoga.” Zay leads sun salutations to an instrumental swell. Farkle corrects posture (“support from the diaphragm”). Skyler shush-laughs. Rachel and Eric peek in with cupcakes; Cassie lays out donation forms for next Window Collective drive.
Maya balances in tree pose, steady—alone and not alone, at once.
Zay: And… release! Remember: the heart will, in fact, go on—legally paraphrased.
Everyone groans; everyone smiles.
END.
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